2024-02-16T14:20:00-06:00 Pull out and nut on her face; call that "unhandled exception"
2023-09-16T13:03:35-06:00 I saw a guy at Home Depot with a parrot on his shoulder today
2023-09-13T18:30:50-06:00	Women be like: Oh, I’m gonna sit in my car next to the gas pump for 5 minutes because my X feed is much more important than getting out of the way for other people to pump their gas
2023-09-07T09:34:35-06:00	Inspired by <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Marijuana_Pepsi_Vandyck">Marijuana Pepsi</a>, I’m gonna name my kid “Sushi Dr. Pepper”