2024-02-16T14:20:00-06:00 Pull out and nut on her face; call that "unhandled exception" 2023-09-16T13:03:35-06:00 I saw a guy at Home Depot with a parrot on his shoulder today 2023-09-13T18:30:50-06:00 Women be like: Oh, I’m gonna sit in my car next to the gas pump for 5 minutes because my X feed is much more important than getting out of the way for other people to pump their gas 2023-09-07T09:34:35-06:00 Inspired by Marijuana Pepsi, I’m gonna name my kid “Sushi Dr. Pepper”